I’m delighted to introduce our Mumbler Agony Aunt, Rachael Alexander, better known as The Courage Queen. For her first monthly Mumbler column, she was sent a great question, see her answer below (I have learned loads from this myself!).
If you have a question for next month’s column please send it to her directly on rach@couragequeen.com and your question may be picked for next month’s blog!
I am 36 and have two small children, 3 and 8, who mean the world to me. Life is busy with nursery and school runs. I also work part-time which I enjoy and my marriage is like any other, we love each other but argue like most couples. Recently I have been feeling like something is missing in my life, as much as I love my kids and my part-time job, I feel like I am on a treadmill, same old routine.
Any suggestions?
Dear Courageous one.
I would imagine you rarely find time for yourself being so busy with two small children, working and running a home. Remember many of our female ancestors knew being a mum and running a home was a full-time job – there is always a pot to wash or bedroom to tidy when we have a family so learn to prioritise you. Times have changed now though and we expect ourselves to work and be a full-time mum – no wonder we get so tired!
Life is about balance and it is essential you learn to prioritise your physical, emotional and mental needs along with your children’s and partner’s needs. The first obstacle we have to overcome when starting to balance our own needs is realising nurturing our self is a priority. If we go down, then our children will suffer the consequences. So how do you find your own time?
We can all be martyrs and think we have to do it all – Newsflash – We don’t! Asking for help takes strength and courage and your children will benefit from you having ‘you time’ as you will be less irritable and tired.
So here are my recommendations on how to get more ‘You’ time.
So what do you do with your time when you have these precious 2 or 3 hours free? Time to get ‘You’ back – having a child can zap our individuality so it is important to remember you are still ‘you’ as well as being a mum.
One of my biggest life lessons of being a mum is that a happy mum makes for a happy child. If you are irritable, tense, fatigued, tense and anxious then your child will pick up on this and you both will suffer. Balancing your needs makes for a happy mum and your child will benefit.
I mentor women daily who are so giving to others, however they forget to give to themselves. Start today to ‘give’ to yourself – even 30 minutes pure YOU time can make a difference. Feel free to email me for more advice.
Rachael Alexander is the Courage Queen. She offers 121 mentoring and facilitates Courage Queen Seminars, helping women to find their passion in their life and put themselves first. Sign up to her newsletter on her website – www.couragequeen.com for more inspiration or contact her direct on rach@couragequeen.com or on Facebook/CourageQueen.